Tension building inside me, don’t know whom to trust…well I am not surprised.
Everything seems so out of reach, I feel like swearing for the last time, but I can now hardly trust myself. Its human psychology to escape the guilt of all the mistakes committed, and I am no exception. I wish going back in time was easy, if I could, I would rectify those small blunders I made, because I seek perfection in life.
I don’t want to lose my self confidence, don’t want to get insecure about life, don’t want anything pulling me beneath the surface. Ah, I need some room to breath. Well I don’t think my words are making any sense. But whatever…….
Thursday, August 2, 2007
"To get rich is glorious”, is the famous saying by Deng Xiaoping, the Chinese ruler. It makes perfect sense to many and scores high on the grounds of practicality and optimistic behaviour. The ingenuous struggle to achieve this end, at times result in crushing certain other passions, certain other penchant….which may sound unconventional and a little crooked from the well established line of thought.
Either you follow your head….or do as your heart says. I myself have been trying hard to bringforth some concord between the two contrasting paths I wish to follow, because both attract me equally.
I also know right now I am standing on the threshold of an important beginning….n I am very well acquainted to the fact that its….’now or never’…. Time halts for none, like there is no one stopping a river from running its course. I am so confused, so injudicious, so torn between what I want to do….n what I am ‘conventionally’ supposed to do.
If I act a little retrospectively, then I feel that all these years I have sought knowledge very painstakingly. I always wanted to know why the earth revolves round the sun, wished to find the inevitable truth about sex, and wondered why supply always creates its own demand.
Well….with equal passion I sought music, not because I had to, but because I personally wished to. I think music brings ecstasy, relieves loneliness. Well, on a personal note, I feel music sobers me down, soothes my mind and takes me to a different world, wherein I can be ‘me’, wherein I don’t have to act fake and make others happy, wherein I can discover all the facets of life without people expecting from me, wherein I can stand and scream….scream out loud…….. Well, I wish………. I only wish………………………
Either you follow your head….or do as your heart says. I myself have been trying hard to bringforth some concord between the two contrasting paths I wish to follow, because both attract me equally.
I also know right now I am standing on the threshold of an important beginning….n I am very well acquainted to the fact that its….’now or never’…. Time halts for none, like there is no one stopping a river from running its course. I am so confused, so injudicious, so torn between what I want to do….n what I am ‘conventionally’ supposed to do.
If I act a little retrospectively, then I feel that all these years I have sought knowledge very painstakingly. I always wanted to know why the earth revolves round the sun, wished to find the inevitable truth about sex, and wondered why supply always creates its own demand.
Well….with equal passion I sought music, not because I had to, but because I personally wished to. I think music brings ecstasy, relieves loneliness. Well, on a personal note, I feel music sobers me down, soothes my mind and takes me to a different world, wherein I can be ‘me’, wherein I don’t have to act fake and make others happy, wherein I can discover all the facets of life without people expecting from me, wherein I can stand and scream….scream out loud…….. Well, I wish………. I only wish………………………
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